I’m finally in the mode to be productive and you won’t stop bothering me! Holy ****! This is a vicious cycle and I am going to explode. Please, when I go to sleep tonight, I don’t want to wake up. This is stupid. I’m not productive, you give me crap, I start being productive, you won’t leave me alone. Are you some kind of stupid?! Seriously….. out of all of them in the world, I got you…. I hate my life right now…

Here we are, on opposite sides when it should have been us standing side by side. If we had only told each other how we really feel, the story could have unfolded a different way…

You call, you message…. I can’t answer honestly and speak to you without thinking in the back of my mind how things could have been… Hate this feeling….

The more I look at the current state of things and how messed up they are , I can’t find a possible solution where everyone ends up happy. The only option I see is that I die and theres no more to do. No more responsibilities, no more money struggles, no more 14 hour work days. All bullshit I just don’t want to deal with anymore.

My mind thinks about this subject from time to time. When I realize how much I’ve screwed up, I think about the possibility of having a second chance… To come back and do things the right way, to put your life’s experience to actual use. If there is truly nothing to look forward to at the end of one’s life, then this is all just a big freaking waste of time.

So fucking annoying. That’s what you are… always yapping in my ear. Holy crap, need a muzzle over here. Ladies, do not keep yelling at your man, especially when he hasn’t done anything wrong in relation to what you’re yapping about.

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."
— Carl Jung

Seriously, how the hell do you get out of these completely screwed up situations? It sucks to look back at your life and see all the key points where you made the bad decision and it’s even worse to look ahead and not know where to go from where you are now. I hate this situation I’m in, the only way out would be a world wide¬†cataclysmic¬†disaster that would cut off all technological communications or my own personal death. Not too many options… damn.

There’s a thin line between “wanting to spend time with you all the time” and “literally having no life outside of that other person”. FML…

Seriously… what is the point of life? This question bothers me everyday… why am I doing the same thing everyday? How do I get out of the “routine”? I don’t want to do this. I want to make movies all day, everyday……. Frustrated.